Bad Behaviour on Beaches – It Isn't Something We Can Afford to Ignore
If you enjoy reading this article and agree with some of the thoughts expressed then ANW may be a prefect place for you to share your naturism. The community welcomes anyone who is respectful of others and of naturism. We do not consider that people's age, gender, sexual orientation, religion or country of origin is important. We are a genuine group of individuals, couples and families who share one important thing in common - the love of naturism.
What is the first thing that comes into mind when you think of bad behaviour within a naturist environment? I would imagine most of you have thought inappropriate sexual acts. It is something that plagues the good name of naturism and has local residents to beaches with naturism too often calling for a ban on nudity. It is this that I am going to be mainly writing about here but lets just think first of some other examples of how we can consider others on the beach – and these thoughts can be appropriate to other locations too.
Be Thoughtful
Many beaches have signs requesting certain behaviour. Staying out of the dunes for example or no over night camping or no dogs allowed. These requests are there for good reasons, even if we don't appreciate them. If we follow the rules of the beach in this respect then our nudity is going to be seen as less of a rebellious concern.
Rules aside we should also behave respectful and thoughtful towards others and the environment we are in. Why climb over and damage fencing when there is a path and gateway 20 metres away? Be considerate about playing music. It may seem relatively harmless but imagine how unpleasant it would be if everyone did it. Put your rubbish into the bins or take it home. You carried it there so why not carry it back? If the beach allows dogs keep them under control. I don't mind dogs on beaches but when they bark constantly, chase our children or run across our picnics then you start to consider the reasoning behind some beaches not allowing them. If you are going to take photographs be considerate towards others. We believe that naturism shouldn't fear photography but we should not have to worry about people sneakily taking photographs of other people on the beach.
Have Fun
The beach should be a fun place to be and it should be somewhere that everyone feels that they can relax and let off steam. We don't have to be boring to be considerate. We all know the difference between having a good time and going too far. Having a couple of beers is different to getting drunk and disorderly. Having a barbecue on some beaches is fine, but you don't want to cover the person next to you in a cloud of smoke. The flexibility of others towards your wants partly depends on your attitude towards them and how you do things rather than what you are doing. When our boys are playing ball down by the shore they have been taught to be careful or stop when others walk by. This limits the dirty looks they receive from people because they are young, energetic and having fun. We have encouraged them to not get TOO noisy, to not get into others' personal spaces, to not shower them with cold water or sand.
Find a Balance
If we all treat each other and the beach with consideration we would have a much happier community. Remember though that this doesn't mean we should chastise every thing we don't agree with or on the other hand put up with people who we think are being rude or thoughtless. The balance of standing up for yourself and being open minded towards others is never easy and something we have to work out as individuals. I think naturists are as a whole quite liberal but that doesn't mean we are all pleasant and it also doesn't mean that we should not set limits to what is acceptable.
We really have seen people telling our children off on beaches full of families for apparently just existing. One recent example being when they were playing ball with each other and saw an elderly couple coming. They stopped and held onto the ball to allow them to pass. If anything they were over cautious and yet still got nasty looks, finger wagging and a few mean spirited words from the two of them as they passed by. When I see children or adults playing on the water edge. I walk around them to allow them to continue. Seeing people playing and enjoying themselves makes me feel happy.
What About the Dreaded Sexual Misbehaviour?
Like the behaviour above it should all be about the consideration and respect for others. We shouldn't just be expecting people on the beach to act lawfully but they should wish to act appropriately. They should think about all others. Not just children. Why should anyone expect to find people acting out their sexual kicks in public? If a beach is completely full of adults or even single sex adults that should not suggest that behaving in a sexual way is acceptable.
I would like to make clear here that I am not making any statement positive or negative about sex in a social setting with other consenting adults. If you go to a venue that has an open attitude towards sexual sharing. Then you go there expecting such behaviour. A public beach is not such a place and the vast majority will be heading there to enjoy the beach for other reasons.
Don't Panic
Let me put this in perspective. In the 13 years I have been visiting naturist beaches and during the many hundreds of hours I have spent on them as a lone woman, as part of a couple and part of a family, I have only been aware of three examples of inappropriate sexual behaviour.
The first was a man who had his shorts pulled down and was standing in the dunes playing with his penis while looking down on the beach. When he saw people had noticed him he pulled his shorts up and disappeared into the dunes. This was a few years back, The other two examples were from the last couple of months.
The first of these two was very similar to the latter. A man was standing in the dunes looking down at two women in their fifties and playing with his penis. Steve was in the sea with our children and saw him. He called out to him and pointed to him telling him to behave himself. The man quickly scarpered.
The second was a little more disturbing. At least the first two individuals believed that they needed to be hidden away.
An Unfortunate and Rare Reality
We had been at the beach as a family for about half an hour when a man about seventy settled next to us. Shortly afterwards a young man in his twenties who had been strolling up and down the beach came up to the man and introduced himself. They got chatting and after a couple of minutes were holding hands. About five minutes later when we were in the sea the young man went off up the beach with a very confident erection in full view. However, he was gone and not our concern. Ten minutes later he came back with his belongings and settled down with the elder man. Before long he was sucking the man's nipple in a baby like fashion while in a very submissive lying position and caressing his hands. This continued on and off for a about ten minutes. Then they started touching and stroking each other penises and getting aroused by it while the young man continued baby like to suckle. At this point Steve stood up. They were about three metres away from them so we didn't have to go far and told them off. He told them that he had no issue about what they were doing but if they wanted to do it they should go and find a hotel room. That it was not right to behave that way in public at all but particularly distasteful to be doing it three metres away from a family with young children. That their behaviour could ruin the reputation of the beach and the reputation of naturists.
The two men sat looking up at him very quiet and sheepish and nodded like little boys being told off for misbehaving in school. They made no attempt to argue their case and spent the rest of the day quietly relaxing on the beach. Incidentally although they stayed lying near to each other they made no conversation together or did anything together. Going down to the sea separately and eating and drinking separately. They shared nothing in common once the sexual activity stopped. The younger man although very tanned had a completely white bottom so could not have been much of a naturist. The old man was very pale all over. I would like to point out that their ages and sex had little to do with the problem of their behaviour. If they were the same age or of the opposite sex the behaviour would still have been wrong. If anything it almost made it more awkward to confront the issue as you do not wish to be seen as behaving homophobic.
Please Remember
I think this is something we need to bare in mind. Firstly that not all people who misbehave on beaches are naturists. Remember that first person had pulled his shorts down his legs. Secondly that not all bad behaviour takes part on naturist beaches. We have seen more people behaving in a sexual manner on textile beaches, public swimming pools and in parks. It would be totally unfair for anyone to suggest that naturist beaches are the only public spaces where people behave in sexual taboo ways. A quick trawl on the internet will show that sex on all beaches seems almost an expected occupation in North American Spring breaks, just as many sneaky photographs are taken in textile environments.
Why is Naturism Given Such a Rough Ride?
Many textiles don't trust it any way. If someone misbehaves on a textile beach it is only the individual that is blamed. If someone misbehaves on a naturist beach then unfortunately naturism is blamed. Remember some sexual sharers do come to naturist beaches. Being in a place that nudity is already expected makes it easier to act like you are not up to anything if some one comes along. Many naturist beaches are also quite remote and so there is more chance of getting away with it.
What Should We Do?
I think firstly we do need to call these people out. It may seem scary. It may seem almost judgmental. But if we don't say stop and just turn away we are allowing the behaviour to continue and to spread. We are putting the future of naturism on these beaches into jeopardy and allowing naturism to be misunderstood and interpreted as sexual. By not trying to stop this behaviour we are discouraging others who would be offended by this behaviour from becoming naturists. Most obviously women and families but there are plenty of men who would feel uncomfortable with such behaviour and question whether naturism is the right thing for them. If we leave the beaches then they will take over. Stand your ground and continue to visit your beach and bring others to it, no matter what reputation it starts to grow.
Join Forces
By siding with the textiles who are against the sexual behaviour on beaches we are taking a side. Making the textiles realise that it isn't naturism they have to fear. I started off this article by discussing other forms of bad behaviour. If we show respect to the beach and it's users we will gain their trust. If we are seen to keep the beaches clean, join beach volunteers to help with the upkeep of the area, be thoughtful to others and not hide in the dunes we will be trusted. If we then are active about scaring off sexual predators and offenders we will be seen to be helping to police the beach for textiles and naturists to use correctly. To co-exist with a common goal. The mutual enjoyment of the space. As trust in naturism grows so will the likelihood that these others users of the beach will strip off and so too will the naturist opportunities on other beaches grow. Whether it is working alone, as a group (of naturists or mixed textiles and naturists) or with the authorities we will show our true colours and gain respect. How about setting up a group to help keep your beaches reputation in tact?
Incidentally
Our sons have been completely unaware of the three incidents mentioned here. Like adult jokes in a children's film they may make you feel uncomfortable but the children don't notice. They are usually so happy doing their own thing that they don't really care what other people are up to. It has only been after the event have they come and asked us what the people had been up to. We have dealt with the explanations as we have felt fit at the time on a what do they need to know for their age and comprehension.
Bad Behaviour within ANW
I would like to take this opportunity to remind people that we see the ANW community as having as much of a right to expect the good behaviour we wish to see on beaches and within clubs. If any of you ever feel abused, offended or preyed upon by other members of the ANW. Please don't ignore it or walk away from the site. Reach out to ANW and we will help in dealing with the matter. Don't protect the offenders. Protect yourself, the rest of the ANW community and naturism.
One Last Thing.
As I mentioned above, beaches are a lovely place to be and naturist beaches should be no exception. We shouldn't be afraid to show affection with our loved ones just because we are naked. Holding hands, having a cuddle, giving each other a kiss, rubbing sun cream on each others backs. This is normal behaviour on a textile beach and should be seen as normal on a naturist beach. Just as we shouldn't fear photography we shouldn't fear being close. We all know and understand what is socially acceptable in everyday circumstances and that is all we really have to consider on a naturist beach. All we need to ask is “at this time, in this company, at this location is my behaviour OK.”
Can naturism ever truly expect to be understood and welcomed until we help to remove our beaches from sexual activity and show how we feel about sexual offenders?
Thanks for reading - Anna and Steve
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Anna and Steve have shared over 150 articles and blog posts on www.anaturistworld.com and write regularly for naturist publications. If you would like to collaborate with them on any naturist / nudist promotional activity or quote from any of their work please contact them via email at [email protected]
