It is St Valentine's week and tomorrow on the Virtual Meet the main topic will be relationships and naturism. We welcome any partners naturist or non naturist to join to be part of this discussion. An opportunity for non naturist partners to find out more about attitudes within naturism and appreciate their partners love of it a little bit more, and also an opportunity for those who would like to find a partner within naturism to talk about the obstacles that they may face.

We chatted a week or so back onn the Forum about naturism and dating sites and understood that such a premise (unless incredibly carefully done) would just become misused. There is absolutely no reason why finding a partner within naturism should be any different than finding a partner within any other aspect of life. So why is it? Maybe it is because the more "gentle minded" people are too concerned about appearing creepy, and so do not attempt to approach others, and the more creepy people (who are everywhere in life and not just naturism) appear to be the only ones who approach others in that respect.

Maybe another aspect is the paranoia that we are encouraged to nurture. We already have attitudes being encouraged that make women mistrust naturist men. Resulting in not enough single women feeling secure to be within naturism, and those that do not trusting the single men they encounter. And of course many people are trying to simply switch off when they spend a few hours within naturism, and dating may be the last thing on their mind.

The nudity itself must surely get in the way. Naturism is a non-sexual environment and for some that means it is a place that should be flirting free. But I guess that partly depends on how one conceives non-sexual. Going to a supermarket, a bar, a tennis club... is non-sexual, but does that mean it is also a place where you cannot approach someone and ask them out? As long as you do not peseter people then is there amny harm? Of course walking up to a cpomplete stranger and asking them out - on any circumstance - places the action purely on immediate phsyical attraction, that could be seen as wrong in any circumstance and maybe even more so in naturism. 

A trend also exists beyond naturism anyway, the idea that it is quite hard to find a partner, which results in internet dating sites being used. Local society simply isn't as conected as it used to be. We often do not grow up and get to know people over years within our community, through school, apprenticeships, work, community social clubs and venues etc. Expected working environment ethics must also make it very hard to make connections. A mistepped flirtation could end up with a person losing their job. 

We spoke to someone last year who wore a ring showing availability, but felt that (although she probably had no such intention) that it appeared almost swinging-like. Could such a ring suggest being available for one-night stands?  It shouldn't but the message does seem unclear. 

How about finding a partner outside of naturism and then encouraging that person to enjoy naturism - either straight away or at some point later? It sounds like a good alternative, but they may either reject you straight away, or stay with you and never accept naturism. Obviously lots of people are in relationships where only one of them enjoys naturism, but although it can work it does add some difficulties. Mistrust at worse, or simply wanting to enjoy doing different things in those all important holiday weeks. 

I look forward to more thoughts on this subject.   
  

This can be such a difficult situation, because I think men are hyper aware of all the rules and views within naturism, and to a degree there is a sort of an alarmist atmosphere within naturism over men approaching women, and the danger of being seen as a sexual aggressor or libertine.

I would think if I was single (Which I am not) I would be very cautious, and if, having spent some time talking and interacting with a lady, I would to a degree follow Steve’s approach, and exchange numbers, but ask to meet somewhere not naturist first. It makes sense to me to remove the nudity to start with, as it takes a lot of connotations away from the first meet to place everyone at ease.

It feels like it would be more sensible to meet outside of naturism for the first meeting, having first encountered each other within naturism, because no matter what is regarded as good conduct within naturism, there is still a mindset within society that sexualises nudity. Even within naturism, there is to a degree a similar mind set, which is why there are so many aspects of naturism that separate men and women with varying sets of rules and percentages. We say naturism is none sexual, and yet the mindset has a sub conscious leaning towards the same societal view, which is why men are limited.

From my male perspective, it appears no matter how sincere or genuine I would be as a male naturist, there are others who would not understand it, and see it as a red flag, which could have more consequences for myself and other males.

It makes more sense to keep the relationship to the textile world, where it can prosper through the early stages, and then the couple status could be applied back within naturist circles.

I am not convinced that naturist dating in the early stages would be easy, or seen as appropriate, not under the current inside view of organised naturism.

As a very lucky and happily married man, I come to this question from a different angle. I think most married couples know that sometimes, just being able to spend time with their partner away from life's hustle and bustle can be romantic all its own. My wife and I love being able to go for a swim or a lazy walk and just talk or hold hands. Naturism is a great opportunity to connect with the ones you love! 

We totally agree Marc naturism offers wonderfully romantic opportunities to simply be together in a very innocent, healthy, escapist way it can feel intimate and romantic within a public setting without stepping into inappropriate or anti-social territory. There is no lovelier thing to witness than a couple walking hand in hand along the waters edge on a naturist beach. It seems to wipe away the years from couple who are long past retirement age and is inspiring. Steve and I love the time we get to spend together on busy or quiet beaches, with or without the children, it always has a special feeling and feels bonding. Being with someone you love in a naturist setting adds a wonderful depth to the positivity of the experience.    

It probably sounds odd, but because we live in such a naturists isolated area, the naturism to a degree is our own little thing. For Rin and myself, the life we live in our garden alone, has brought us closer, it feels special, like it just ours, and a part of us as a married couple. Our conversations have more depth and joy to them, as we plan our naturist life, our late night soaks alone in the spar as we talk, is simple us being us, and yet somehow, it feels like is simply our thing, the difference between us and the other couples we know, and it is a part of the private side of who we are when we are not being parents. It is special thing, and feels like a privelidge for us.