Today we have had a message from an ANW member who was around 30 who has said he has to leave ANW because his mother found out about his naturism and is against it - and he would rather give up naturism that upset his mother. 

No one wants to upset their family, but should those that care about us not want to understand the things that matter to us and through knowledge learn to accept them? 

Anyway I got me thinking about obstacles that may stand (or may have stood) in our way for us to properly enjoy naturism. How do we deal with those?, are we unable to?, what do we do next?... Is there some good advice or tips we can offer or share?

Maybe family, partners, loved ones are against it? Maybe there is the local community, work life, social setting? Maybe it is a location is or a problem with where you live? Maybe emotional or physical difficulties? There could be all sorts of obstacles that we have learned to deal with or even problems and obstacles we still have to face. 

Share your personal situation here on this topic and possible solutions to others.    

For me it's usually been quite practical things - having the access to a place where naturism is acceptable, and having the time to go there.  I've never been told that I shouldn't be doing it.  My wife is not a naturist but she doesn't mind if people know I am.  She doesn't want me being visible to the neighbours when I'm in the garden, but I feel more comfortable if they can't see me as well, so that's fine.  I've put in hedges and higher fences to give me privacy.

I live in Portsmouth so I'm only a few minutes from Eastney naturist beach.  For many years I've been able to go down there for an hour or so in my lunch break from work, and make up the time elsewhere.  I'm probably luckier than most in that respect, but I'd still prefer it if I didn't *have* to travel to a beach 4 miles away  :-)  In an ideal world I could just lie on the grass in the sunshine outside my office.  Not much chance of us ever living in that kind of world...

I'm a member of Heritage Club in Berkshire, which is a really lovely place.  I only ever go on weekdays because I'm always busy with family stuff or DIY etc. at the weekend.  I go by train and it's a 2 hour journey each way, so it gets expensive if I go there a lot.

We recently went to Greece on a family holiday and we all had a lovely time, but I did find it quite frustrating that I was in this wonderfully warm sunny climate and yet I was compelled to wear clothes in the hotel pool, on the balcony and at the beach.  Wouldn't it be lovely if we could just wear as much or as little as we want without anyone taking any notice at all?

I suppose it's good to remember that every naturist beach, club, swim etc. had to start sometime, and some people had to be the pioneers.  If we want the facilities then we have to try to win these things for ourselves.  It would be good to have easy access to more places where naturism is the norm.

Reading Anna’ post about this young person who feels that have to stop being a naturist because his mother does not agree with, raised a few reactions for us.

Our first reaction was he is thirty, and so it is none of her business how he lives, he has the right to be who he is, and she to be honest has no right to dictate the terms of that. We then considered it deeper.

Does he still live at home, in what way is she opposed to it, does he do it around her, is it away from home, do the rest of the family and their friends know, and what part of his naturism is it particularly is it that offends her?

The scenario is quite vague, her disapproval could be over many aspects of this, but again, we would again say, ultimately, at age thirty, he is entitled to live his own life, and his mother to a degree has to let go and allow that. We assume at age thirty he has drunk alcohol, gone out with friends and possibly had sexual partners, and again, he is old enough to be able to do that without the consent of a parent.

We can understand the pressure placed on this young man, as we have encountered something similar, but we would advise that if naturism works for you, and it is something that brings you joy and relief from the stresses of the world, you should not stop, even if a close one disagrees.

Last year during our visit to Cornwall, our son who was raised a naturist, made the ultimatum to Rob that as a family we had to give up naturism, because “He did not agree with it and thought it was wrong.” He literally stood in a camping field with his hands on his hips and told Rob. “My friends think it is disgusting.” It was pretty confrontational, he was seventeen and he truly believed he was right, knew everything and we had to as he wanted because he had rights.

Rob smirked, and responded, “I do not give a hoot (Word changed, Rob was pretty angry) what you friends think, they can kiss my Mule (Again word changed) hell will freeze over before I stop.”

Our son stormed off in a tizzy and we carried on as normal preparing for a day at the beach. He returned a few hours later and was pretty quiet, so Rob sat with him and explained how this was who we were, and he was under no obligation to join us, but his friends were wrong in their assumptions as he well knew, and honestly, we felt he was being foolish for going along with something he knew was not the truth of what they were saying.

At that point, Rob pointed out all of the insecurities our sons’ friends had, which was mainly due to the fact that they could not see that their skin was a thing of great beauty, and how sad he felt to his friends hated themselves and their bodies so much, and how insecure it had made them, because they believed the lies of social media, and as a result were hurting themselves emotionally.

Since then, our son has not spoken of it again with us, his demands have disappeared, although, he chooses to not be a part of our naturist life, and we are okay with that as we do not force our opinions on anyone, but we do live true to ourselves.

None of what we experienced with our son was pleasant, it created waves that no one wanted, and yet once confronted, and after a time of cooling off, we had the chance to explain ourselves and allow him to explain himself, and we do feel that even though he is 18 now, and still does not participate, the option is there should he wish to return. Either way, we all now understand where each of us is coming from, and it has brought peace to the family, which was needed.

We feel something similar needs to happen, this young guy’s mother may not approve, but at some point she will if he makes a stand and accept it, and we feel that he should not ask for her approval, but should seek understanding, after all, isn’t that what naturists really want, simple understanding and tolerance.

We do not believe that naturism will ever become mainstream in society, there are too many people invested in society hating themselves, and their bodies, as we see everyday on social media, and to be honest, naturism should not force people to live naked. We honestly believe our goal has always been to seek tolerance, and for those who really want to experience the naturist life, help them to do so.

There is a growing trend of curious people who want to experience true social nudity, and we should all play a role in aiding them wherever possible, and maybe at times, some of that should be by providing the information and guidance to others so they can state their case to others who maybe do not fully understand. It is clear the mother does not fully understand naturism, and so as a community, we feel we should help this young man find the tools to express to his mother why naturism is important in his life and the purpose it serves for him.

She does not have to join him, all she has to do is understand him, and accept that it is a part of the son that she loves.

Its a sad situation that anyone has to give up something they enjoy because of the opinions of others. If I had been in the same situation , even just a year ago , I may have considered doing the same. Having had ( by my standards at least ) a pretty good naturist summer, meeting like minded people and getting out and about , I think I would now not be prepared to give up naturism because someone didnt agree with it.

Maybe it is true that the more you are naked , the more it seems the right way to be, as I have heard others comment. Fortunately the one person whose opinion really matters ( my partner) is fine with it and I dont think her views will suddenly change. 

I am still in the position where I think a few people I know may suspect that I am a naturist but, I haven't actually told anyone yet. Well , apart from a friend of mine that I see about once a decade who has led a very unconventional life and I suspect would be quite difficult to shock !

As far as I am concerned , the biggest obstacle is my own perception of what others will think. Daft eh? But I suspect I am not alone in this.  Its a funny old world where being naked with someone you have just met feels perfectly comfortable but saying the words ' but the way , I'm a naturist ' to someone you have known for years is so difficult. The clothed world could learn a thing or two about acceptance........ from the naturist world !

We totally agree that it really is not the mother's place to stand in the way of whether this man is a naturist or not. Sometimes it is right to intervene in people's choices. Say stopping a drunk friend getting behind a wheel or even offer sage advise. "That woman is no good for you!" But at the end of the day a persons relationship with his family and the dynamics are not something easy to understand. An over bearing mother for example may need to be fought against but of corse may not be able to be fought. Similarly if you adore someone you may not want to hurt their feeling - though they should consider yours too!

If a mother feels naturism is perverse then would it not be better to educate her than to simply stop and have her worry that basically you are a closet pervert. We would suggest that he share some ANW articles with her. The man in question was from the USA - which does struggle a little more with naturism than some other parts of the world. 

There is a great fear of naturism spreading from the younger generations - generations that do not seem to fear the sexual sharing of the internet (even if they do not take part themselves) an irony or a direct result! Strangely - in the UK at least - little is being done to encourage families yet a lot is being done to encourage young naked parties. Which angle is being considered here? 

The main thing we should be doing is concentrating on the natural side of naturism - encouraging the innocence, the instinctive nature and the incredible positivity it has on social settings. Beaches, camps, clubs, swim meets - these are vital opportunities. Naked discos can be fun - so can naked dining but  what will encourage naturism to grow is naturism that makes sense with all of society welcome from birth and on! If naturism can build trust then it will build numbers. If it allows itself to appear sordid then it will lose numbers. Exhibitionism and voyeurism on the internet will not help but good information supplied by a range of people will. That is one of the hopes of our public articles. Taking the nudge nudge out of naturism that is firmly supported by badly judged ideas like EveryBody. 

Matt -  you are right it can be so much harder to share naturism with those you know - and so much easier with strangers. A hsitory of wearing clothes with them does not help. A fear of them judging you - your character and your body - also is an issue. If a stranger has thoughts they are not important. A parent's, wife's, friend's or child's can be. Though these people should take time out to listen.

We have spoken to our parents - not just about naturism but also about ANW - it isn't just a "oh we are naturists" and then that is that. A certaion ammount of information and questioning may be required but to reach a shared level of fact should not be impossible with any relationship as long as communication lines are open. If someone simply draws the curtains it is hard to take the stage.